They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
