Sry I called you an 8
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
