eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
