Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
