i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
