I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
