1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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