i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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