New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
