so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
