She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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