Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
