The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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