This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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