Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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