if you like me you must not know who I am
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
