so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
