and my herpes radar will keep us safe
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
