You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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