wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
