Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
