Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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