isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
