piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think my vagina is haunted
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
