Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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