matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
