Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
