So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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