apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
