My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
