I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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