I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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