It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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