Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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