every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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