I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
