Apparently you make a good broom.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
