So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
