Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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