he puts the penis in happiness.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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