Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
