WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
