You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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