8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
