She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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