Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
