i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
