but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
