I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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