So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
